This was cool.

I did not realize how much I had archived about my families life in a blog.  I read over the entries and found such strength and hope.  These are experiences from over 10 years ago but they have great meaning to me.  I am not a great journal keeper, but here I found why it is so important.  I don't think many of the people who followed my blog are still blogging.  Instagram and Facebook have kind of taken over.  I am going to start again.  Just for me.  I am working on a talk about Prayer.  I looked up my old blog because I remember a time when my four year old (Now 15 year old) would not pray and wanted to read about it as it happened.  I have been through a lot with this now 15 year old and I am so thankful that Heavenly Father answers prayers.  He has been such a help this last little while.  My prayers have not all be answered.  In fact, life has been really difficult and I have not seen a lot of hope in it getting better but I have had peace through prayer.  I have been told to be patient in my afflictions and to step back and watch God as He shows me His power and His plan.  I have been told to put down my weapons of war and to be humble and submissive.  This is not easy for me.  I have been negotiating with God and told Him that I will step back, but for Him to please make it very obvious when He wants me to act because I am truly stepping back and having faith that He has a plan and His plan is so much better than mine.  I have struggled as things have gotten worse and not better and at one very low point where I felt so unloved I begged for Him to show me He cared.  Not more than two hours later a friend I had not seen or spoken to in over a year who lives in Texas called.  She said she was delivering permission slips for Girl's camp and felt strongly that she needed to check in on me.  I was immediately aware that God loves me, because He sent Shauna.  Then logic tells me that if He could and would answer the question of whether He loves me immediately then He is aware of me.  He knows what I need and how to solve my problems.  He just can't do it right now.  Agency is involved, lessons have to be learned, and He is on it.  It is a lesson I have to keep reminding myself of and to be honest He continues to remind me too.  I hope some day 10 years later I read this and can see how God answered my needs.  How he calmed my storms, how He lifted me when I needed Him, how He softened hearts, and how He knew the best way to go.  Looking back on some of my issues from this time period I see know how He was always in the details.